Holidays

A season of dark & light— the great balancing act

Holidays, Spring

How can great sorrow and pure joy coexist?

The lenten season has great spiritual roots that dive deep into the Church’s history. I don’t pretend to be any kind of theological expert that can speak to the meaning of the days on the Church calendar. My knowledge extends as far as what we can read from scripture. But the heart of the matter is that Lent leads us into a season of managing both mourning and joy. Hope and sorry. Darkness and light. When we read through the story that led Christ to the cross, we are able to manage both the anguish and the pain, but also see the hope that Sunday is coming.

This season is always so beautiful to me because we get to sit for 40 days in the rending dichotomy of this soul mediation. The lessons we learn from both the darkness and light of lent can be so beautifully applied during the rest of the year. We constantly have to manage the splitting of feelings and the balancing of bereavement.

When honestly, it feels like we are just going to snap.

The season of lent has always felt heavy for me. It contains a gentle melancholy that walks us slowly into the season to celebrate the life and death of Christ. When that cross hung our savior, we get to sit in the excruciating pain that is I encourage you, dear friends, to pay attention to the balancing act that you experience this season. Whatever way you check in with yourself, notice the physical sensations, the emotional cues, and the spiritual pulling. Once we begin to notice living in that dichotomy, we will be able to better handle it when we encounter it in other areas of our lives.

I recommend working through a Lent study with people who can explain the origin much better than I ever could. My first recommendation is Heavy Lightness by Erin Moon. Another great option is the She Reads Truth Lent study or the new release Journey to the Cross.

Valentine’s Day Dates for the 5 Love Languages

Holidays

While moseying through the Charleston airport in South Carolina, I spot a stunning red dress in the windows of a store that I can’t even recall. This red sheath dress had an overlay of a large weave lace and was the striking color of candy apple red. I can’t even remember what I said, but it was probably something simple like, “oh, that’s really pretty.”

Fast forward two months to my birthday and I unwrap that beautiful dress as a birthday gift from my husband. I learn that it was from Brooks Brothers and that he payed attention to my compliments that one morning while we were on our way to the terminal. More than the dress itself, it was the thought and intention he put in. He was paying attention when I least expected it. He bought the perfect size that fit me like a glove, and that brief passing comment was one of the sweetest birthday gifts I had ever received.

Dreamy dates are not just for hallmark movies. And you don’t need Hollywood budget in order to make them happy. In light of the season of love, here are 5 ways to make grand romantic gestures that are built just for the love languages of your significant other.

Acts of Service

Is there a date that he or she has been wanting to do that you’re just not that interested in? Well, here’s your chance to shine. By “sacrificing” your preference of dates, for theirs, you will be serving them up with their preferred date and showing that you’re willing to meet them where they are at. Does she want to go to that ballet? Or does he want to go off-roading? Take that step out of you comfort zone to serve your spouse.

Physical Touch

Take a couple’s yoga class together. Physical touch doesn’t have to be sexual, intimate or exclusively for the bedroom. Physical touch is a way that in any present moment, that you are thinking of your significant other and that you are wanting to be near or close to them. It’s the connection that they desire. A yoga class might seem silly or clumsy, but it can offer up an out of the idea box, to build love through touch in a nonsexual way.

Quality Time

Take quality time up a notch. Eliminate all distractions. If your significant other’s love language is quality time this means that their connection with you comes through undivided attention. Do a tech-less date/day. Put away the phones. Turn them off, not even on silent. Put them in a lock box if you have to. Undivided attention is a rare commodity these days. Give something more rare than a diamond in undivided attention to your significant other and enjoy the time without the background noise.

Gifts

This is where the stereotypes begin to excel. Think jewelry, flowers, or that new dress she has been eyeing. Pay attention to what she says she likes, scour her Pinterest board, see who she follows on Instagram. Those little moments that you pay attention to her words of wishes, when you deliver, it will be much appreciated and she will feel honored that you were listening.

Words of Affirmation

It might feel weird or awkward to write a story or to put your feelings down on paper, but for your spouse— it should be worth it. A great way to get started is to just write down what you would tell him/her. Write a song or poem. Deliver those written words in a romantic setting such as a candle lit dinner or in a secluded location during a hike. The intentional gesture shows forethought, preparation, and communicates your love for the other person.

Remember that love is two ways. It it a constant dance of give, take and sacrifice. If any of these ideas made you feel a little squirmy, remember that a small sacrifice for your significant other whether in the form of attention, investment or intimacy, will be a huge impact for making this valentine’s day one to remember.

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