9 to 5 Faith Podcast: Episode 15

Paige C. Clark 0:41
Hello, everyone, and I am so so excited to have my friend Tonya with me. Tonya, how are you doing today?

Tonya May Avent 0:49
Well, Paige, how are you doing?

Paige C. Clark 0:51
Good, good, Tanya and I go way back. Was it last year?

Tonya May Avent 0:55
Maybe? Maybe two years, I think yeah,

Paige C. Clark 0:57
I was just gonna say, like, there’s more than a year ago. But yeah, we’ve been working together as writers and all that good stuff. And I’m so excited to have you on the podcast.

Tonya May Avent 1:09
I’m so excited to be here.

Paige C. Clark 1:11
So tell us a little bit about

Tonya May Avent 1:12
Yourself. So as you said, I’m a writer. We met through Hope*writers, I think probably one of our first Hope circles that we have met, and kind of been connected ever since. So by day, I am an IT director and project manager. And my passion. My ministry is writing, blogging, podcasting, as well. I have a ministry called Faith-filled Moms. But we have a mom’s writing program every Tuesday night. So I just did my show last night, and it was amazing. And then also blogging via my website, autonomy. event.com. And I have a book that we’ll talk about in a bit as well, just moving along; I write for Guideposts magazine as well, and I have a story coming out there this year. That isn’t all the thing I am, and I just I’m loving it. I just feel like ministry, and my goal is really my primary, and the target audience is just moms. But my goal is just to minister and nurture. So women, especially moms, because moms and women are naturally nurturers, and just really, we’re always nurturing and given out, and sometimes we need our own soul nurtured. So that’s the ministry that I wouldn’t really focus on.

Paige C. Clark 2:17
And if you’re not watching the video, if you’re just listening to the podcast, you look great, by the way; you look glowing like you are like on cloud nine with what you’re working on. So I can’t wait to dig into it a little bit more dies. So if you’re just listening to this, go over to YouTube and watch it watch this, and see the glow that Tanya is putting out. And so all those exciting things, and we’ll definitely be hitting on them. But let’s talk about like kinda like I mean, I think it’s like, more boring but like might be exciting to you. Is your IT work?

Tonya May Avent 2:50
Yes, about that. How

Paige C. Clark 2:52
Long have you been working in that? How did you end up there? All that good stuff?

Tonya May Avent 2:56
Yes. So about 136 years now. I just can’t, and I probably stumbled upon it. I remember math major my degree in math. And I flew out to a company in Virginia called sprint communications. Remember, the phone companies trained me, and I’ve been kind of going ever since, and I always say I don’t love what I do. Which is why I love the ministry because I’m passionate about the ministry, right? Also, have an analytical mind, and I love the analytics of what I do with it. I love the challenge that I have. So I work with many people even in my job now to out the world of India, Costa Rica Poland, but like my one client with a Bacardi, I have clients they are in Switzerland and Spain, so I’m working with Europeans now that I’ve never had to interface with and it’s yeah it’s still ministry there’s it’s interesting to be able to work with people from different cultures and things to me we’re not used to in our everyday lives. So I’m growing, and I’m enjoying it. I really

Paige C. Clark 3:56
that’s a long time to work in the same field. I feel like, nowadays, that is kind of rare to find. Employees, and, you know, regular white-collar workers, are kind of a dedication to a field.

Tonya May Avent 4:11
Yeah, well, I say it’s paying my bill. So it allows me to do ministry. I have a daughter in college right now. So that’s important to be able to pay that tuition and all those so and another blessing about my job is I’ve been remote since I had my sister. She’s 18. Now, when I had, we were living in Maryland, and my family’s in New Jersey, and I just would work from home a lot and have weekend work that I would be working in the midnight hour from my home and confined computers like when Wi-Fi or you know, the internet was writing Wi Fi just it was plugged in the internet. And so I wouldn’t do. I would work after hours at home for maintenance and things like that. I’m like, Well, I can do this from anywhere. So I propose I don’t even think till telecommuting was a thing then, right. I proposed it. They said yes. And I would move back to New Jersey, and I would drive back. Every two weeks, I drive to Maryland, but I’ve been a work at home Full Time Mom my whole career. So I always count that as a blessing that God allowed me to be able to still here and raise my children. And even when they went to school, I could kind of come and go for school projects. If someone’s sick, that’s been a blessing. So it’s another reason why you said it for so long because it just fits. And it just works with me being able to be, like, really hands-on with the kids as well.

Paige C. Clark 5:20
Yeah. So if you’re working from home, I think the leader in that, Tonya made it happen. But I also feel like the type of work that you do lends itself a little bit more to kind of remote working than other jobs.

Tonya May Avent 5:39
I have been working with people for 1015 years that I’ve never met in person. Never met them, you know, so I’m not a totally social person. So if you need that interaction, that water, that winter corridor, right, you know, conference room chat, I’m not that kind of person. So I’m literally in this office again for 18 years now. Office, I’ve got to do desk and do things. But really, it’s just been me on the screen. Or one video, a lot of times it was more so phone conferencing, and just recently since COVID, we’re kind of getting on the screen where I mean getting, you know, behind from behind just the phone and on the camera, but it was just me on the phone for years just talking to people and had no idea what they look like. And I would come up with my mind. But I wonder what they look like when you finally see a picture. Like I didn’t know, I had no idea. You look like that. That’s not your voice. So Right.

Paige C. Clark 6:30
I think that happens, especially with, like, fiction writers, whenever I’m reading a fiction book, and I’m like like envisioning the characters; this is why I hate books to movies. I should love that because it gets more people to read. But I hate books to movies because you have this image in your head of, like, what that character looks like. And then you see that it really is

Tonya May Avent 6:57
Why I always say I’m going to read it first. Yeah, then I’ll watch the movie. So it’s funny. There’s a show on Netflix. Like God, I think it’s called okay. I think that’s what it’s called. But it’s like probably the top 10. Right now, I want to watch it so bad. I said, Oh, what’s a series? Nope, I’m gonna; it’s my summer reading. I’m gonna read the series first. And then I’m gonna watch it because I don’t want to ruin it.

Paige C. Clark 7:16
There you go. There you go. And that’s why I pride myself on reading a lot of nonfiction. The majority of my library is nonfiction. So let’s talk a little bit about, kind of, like, what your day-to-day looks like. And like how you move throughout the day managing being a mom, and also this ministry that work that you are doing and writing. And then also on top of that, you know, doing the corporate thing.

Tonya May Avent 7:44
Yeah, yeah. So that’s all kind of intertwined in my day. So my day starts off, obviously, obviously, but with devotion, you know, time with God; I really want to make sure that I’m setting the tone for my day and then getting my family up and out the door. My husband is also an educator, so he follows the same schedule as my kids did for school. So we’ll get them out of the house, get their lunches and everything out of the house. And then it’s my time. And usually, I use that quiet time to do the writing; my creativity and inspiration come in the morning and nighttime; you can forget about it, but that morning time. So I’ll use it. Usually, I have like a 90-minute block; I’ve gotta be online by nine. So I’ll do ministry at maybe 730 to nine, then literally log in at nine o’clock; I always have a conference call. So I’ll start logging in. And doing that till about five 530. And most days, I can; I don’t have to do a lot of overtime. There are times when I do certain projects that I make, but for the most part, I can get off, and then I gotta go pick my daughter up from school. And she may have sports. So I tell you, from the time that I wake up to the time I hit the pillow, I am doing something for someone else, usually or ministry. And so I think one of the things that I struggled with is finding that time and that self-care for me; like you, I love to read, but I find that I’m not. I don’t read as much as I want to unless I’m on vacation and have that time. I don’t have that daily cadence of reading. So I think that one thing that I would want to change and improve is just making taking 30 minutes just for myself each day to read for reading for pleasure. I may read for ministry and things like that, but just reading right is your pleasure.

Paige C. Clark 9:14
Yeah. And that’s where I save my fiction books, for I really love some, you know, just light-hearted stuff that you don’t really have to pay attention to. Because I get really intimidated when I’m listening when I’m reading fiction or nonfiction because I’m like my notes. I tilt to, like, okay, yeah, I’m a note-taker. I am a riot. Like I am an underliner. I’m like, oh, I want to look that up for later. I get way too into it, and it’s worse. Yeah. So after working from home for the last 18-plus years, what is your trick? There are a lot of people who can’t handle it.

Tonya May Avent 9:54
Like comes with a personality like I think I have the personality for it but discipline as well. Oh, and it’s interesting, you think, because I work from home, but my discipline is not taking breaks. I feel like I spent a lot of time here, and I probably need to get up. And I probably would be a better housekeeper if I maybe had a morning, 15 minutes where my break was probably, you know, putting in a lot of clothes or getting a crock pot ready. So I feel like that’s one of the things that I just feel like I’m into work all the time. And so yeah, you think my house would be much better kept? Is it much lifted? Yeah. Because I’m sure, my husband comes home from work. Like, I don’t understand you’re here. I’m truly, truly working because we go across different time zones. Yeah. But like I said, definitely, it’s, it’s for me, it’s discipline. It’s, there are things to complete. And I just, I am, I’m fulfilled with accomplishing tasks and completing tasks. So

Paige C. Clark 10:48
yeah, and you also have the designated office space. Yes, I think that’s huge. I think that I mean, it is a privilege to be able to have that if you have, like, the actual physical space to be able to do that. But I think one thing that people underestimated, especially like, in the shutdown, and with COVID, and everything, is having that designated workspace helps not only with your own productivity but also your own discipline,

Tonya May Avent 11:19
And not just a designated workspace but a workspace that you enjoy being in. So I know for years, my desk, it was like, like a corner desk, and I’m facing the wall. So about two years ago, I got this nice executive else is this, and I can have the window. Now that window was always to my back. So now I can look out and see that I’m putting paintings and things and painting the wall. So creating that ambiance that you really want to be in that’s, that’s refreshing to you. Also, you’re in a room where she’s dreary, and you’re not feeling it, that’s going to impact you as

Paige C. Clark 11:47
well. I’m in that season right now, where like, we’re moving a lot of stuff, and like, my office is a wreck. And it is driving me mad because, like, I have out now, like, a treadmill, so I can walk while I work. But also that takes up a lot of space. And it is not Q in my office. So I’m still figuring out how to make

Tonya May Avent 12:09
That. Make it your space. Yeah. Yeah. I spent a lot of time there.

Paige C. Clark 12:13
Yeah, yeah. And also, I think it helps with the work-life balance in terms of, like, leaving things kind of out and behind and then transitioning into your out-home time. And it allows for you to kind of like take that mental break because, for some people, they have their commute to be able to do that.

Tonya May Avent 12:34
Exactly. My commute is down the steps. Yeah.

Paige C. Clark 12:39
Yeah. And then also like having doors on your

Tonya May Avent 12:43
Last, a lock. The locks are good. Yeah, I

Paige C. Clark 12:47
think doors are really underestimated to win when it comes to, like, working from home. So my husband works from home, but he has his like the den, which doesn’t have any doors or open space. And then I keep telling Harry’s, whose voice carries and also just like, it’s, it’s again, that physical reminder of like, shut off, open up, like that.

Tonya May Avent 13:10
Very physical reminders can help us in a lot of ways that we don’t anticipate. Yeah, especially if you use the den for other purposes, too. Yeah. So your it’s not just that dedicated workspace, you know, when you go when it’s just for work, and then when I leave, work is over. Yeah,

Paige C. Clark 13:26
I think that was one thing. I was like a habitual working from bed. At least when the pandemic started, I would work from bed to terrible, don’t tell people that. But I literally would wake up, pull out my laptop, and just work from bed like you would when you’re like sick or something. But it also got to the point where I started doing a lot of research on sleep. And like how your bedroom is only supposed to be for sleep, right? No

Tonya May Avent 13:58
TVs, anything I read. Yeah,

Paige C. Clark 14:01
just for sleep. So like, I try not to hang out in there. Sometimes, I just kind of want to lie down. We have a guest bedroom. If I’m just like, during the day, I just want to be horizontal for a moment. I go into the guest bedroom and just like lay on the bed in there because I’m like, I’m not sleeping. I want to sit on my phone, but I also want to be like, in a reclined position. Yeah. So there’s that. Um, so what does like your community involvement with, like, your church and your ministries and all of that look like for you?

Tonya May Avent 14:35
So I have been in children’s ministry for probably eight years now. So that consisted of at least once a month that I want Sunday, I’d be in children’s ministry, and our church has two services. So that would probably start like maybe 815 and go till about one o’clock 130 In the afternoon, but I love that I do morning mostly with the parents checking in and out, not necessarily ever being in the classroom, probably for about four years now. But still, just that was one of the things that was really the main ministry that I was in. But at the beginning of the year, my writing and my ministry were picking up so much. I knew I needed to take a sabbatical from that because that’s part of ministry for me. But yes, the ministry was just making it too much. And so I decided to really just take this year to focus on everything that I had going on. And I can attend church when I need to, maybe just one service, and because that was really my whole Sunday to write. And then by the end of that, that serving period, you’re tired, and you want to rest, and there’s no creativity or anything. Yeah, for the rest of that day. So that’s just a decision that I took to step away. So it’s been about five months now. And

Paige C. Clark 15:43
how’s it been going?

Tonya May Avent 15:45
I’m still busy. As I said, you know, I swiped my plate is still full. So I feel like it was definitely a good decision. And I’m working on reducing stress levels and things like that. I missed alcohol like I’m gonna be doing for Mother’s Day; my daughter is going to praise dance. So I called and said, I’m available if someone wants to take off, so the director is, like, the last guy to serve. And it’s Mother’s Day. I’m like, when you take off, I can step in and serve. So I will, but I’m unable to but just the rigidity, rigidity of having to serve and be on the schedule. I kind of

Paige C. Clark 16:12
Yeah. Do you feel like now that you’ve taken a step back, you said you’re so busy. So is that busyness? Was it? Were those empty? Places, those empty kinds of time slots filled with new things? Or was it like your plate, and you were overextending yourself? Does that make sense?

Tonya May Avent 16:32
It does, I think, more so overextended, but I think in okay, we’re in, there’s always work to do. Yeah, like I said, I spoke out. So I’ve got to promote my book. Yeah, has a podcast. So I have guests that I have to edit their blocks and write the script for our show. You know, I make special assignments for Guideposts magazine. And that’s usually like a three or four-week window for them. But then there’s training; there are different things. So there’s, to me, there’s always I have a list, there’s always something for me to do to improve my track, to get more information. So it’s, it’s just, I just feel like there’s never going to be. I have to take and make the time because there’s always going to be something to do.

Paige C. Clark 17:12
Yeah, yeah. And I think that’s too like a wisdom thing of, like, what? What can I do? And what should I do? Good. Those are two very different things. That’s actually something I’m working on right now of, like, I’m gonna hire an intern here, like, for the summer. And I’m like, I need them to run my social media. I do that professionally. If you’re new to listening to the show, I run social media accounts professionally. But also, can I do it? Yes. Should I be doing it? Now? Like, I’ll be at the gym. As I’m like, trying to get my daily engagement going, I’ll be at the gym on the treadmill working and turning on my phone, can’t turn it off. So I’m, I’m doing this, should I do it? And the answer is no. And I outsource it. And I think when you make margin in your life, you’ve realized really, how kind of, like, packed tightly. Yes, your things are.

Tonya May Avent 18:10
That’s another question to ask yourself. Is this urgent? Or is it important, or it can be both? Yeah, so a lot of times, the urgency has to be done in a certain time. I can’t write if I don’t do this, what’s going to be the cost of me not doing something can be very important. But I could get to it maybe next week or even next month; it’s still important for me to do, but there’s no urgency and criticality. So even as we take on tasks today, I’m wanting to I need to book a hotel for a trip with my daughter in the summer. Yeah, I was gonna stop what I’m doing to reach. I’m like, Tanya, you don’t need to do this right. Now you have, right? It’s important that you do it. But this isn’t an urgent task. Focus on what’s urgent.

Paige C. Clark 18:48
And I sometimes think too, like, if anyone out there or you have like anxiety brain where like, the task seems so much bigger than it actually is,

Tonya May Avent 19:00
Until you start it right until you start it and you’re like, Oh, why did I wait so long? Right?

Paige C. Clark 19:05
Why did I not worry about getting my dogs groomed? Really? Yeah, like, like making an appointment to get my dogs grouped. Make an appointment for

Tonya May Avent 19:13
Anything, just even women, I’ve to do to schedule a doctor’s appointment for two weeks now. It’s just a matter of picking up the phone, dialing the number, and you can multitask while you’re on hold. But just

Paige C. Clark 19:25
I will say like to give myself a little bit of an excuse. Our dog groomers are a pain in the butt to book with. Like, they never answered their phone, and if you leave a message, they don’t call you back. So like, sometimes you have to try to

Tonya May Avent 19:40
Avoid that. That pain and the frustration, basically, right

Paige C. Clark 19:43
avoidance, I need to talk to my therapist. But I have a random question. I’m just kind of curious. Why did you decide to volunteer with the children’s ministry?

Tonya May Avent 19:57
I just again Because I think my ministry is for parents and for mothers, I’m concerned with. And I’m raising my own children. So my own head for starting in the youth ministry as well. And just really want to make sure that children have that strong foundation in the Word of God. Yeah, when I was young, we had Sunday school, and then church, and I was in a very grew up in a very religious family where I went to church Sunday morning, afternoon, and evening. So Sunday all day with the church. Monday night was choir rehearsal. Wednesday night was Bible study. And then Friday night was just, you know, service and revival, it could be, you know, the weekend, so I just always had a very strong biblical foundation in the Word of God, and my children did, and that’s, we’ll talk game we’ll get into, but that’s one reason why I wrote the book as well. Because as I’m raising my children, I’m like, they don’t have that foundation. So I wanted to become involved in children’s ministry to do my part, to be able to teach young children how to understand the word of God and how to use it. I can remember listening to Bible, reading it, you know, it was a tape that you put the tape player and push play, you know, those tape cassette tapes, I would listen for hours and hours to different Bible, Bible stories about Elijah about Daniel in the lion’s den. And our kids are on phones watching the video. And they’re not watching those kinds of things. So a lot of those things were missing. So it was just, I think, near to my heart to be able to do my part to teach children what I do, what I grew up learning. Yeah,

Paige C. Clark 21:27
I love that. I was just curious because I think that everyone kind of has their own reasons for being in certain ministries; my friend she’s really, really passionate about, like, pregnant mothers, especially single pregnant mothers like that is like her thing. And so she’s like, actively like going and seeking stuff out. And whereas me, I’m like a pragmatist. And I’m like, I do social media; I will watch your social media feed during the live streams on the week. Yes, exactly. Like, it’s a little like, I can just like to check out a little bit, and I don’t have to, you know, be on all the time. Um, so you shared with me previously a story that I wanted you to share here about a work situation and your ability to kind of minister to people in your job and in your work that you do. So can you share that story?

Tonya May Avent 22:32
Sure. And so, like, like I said, I grew up in the church, but I did not freely share my faith. At work, a lot of times were no separation; there were certain things to talk about. So I just kind of really adhere to that, and really wouldn’t talk about my beliefs or my religion that much. And there I was promoted to a new job. I was a manager of project managers. And there was a team of all men, they were very senior SAP, is that the application? That we will. Yeah, that was gonna be managing. And so there when I tell you, like, heavyweights in the industry, and here I am, their manager knows very little about SAP. Right? I was just very timid about having to take on this assignment. So my first day of remote, so I’m calling them on the phone to introduce myself. So the one gentleman Gil, who I called, was on disability, and his leave was starting that day, but I wanted to still call him and do some, let him know that I would be his new manager. And so we had, I called him, and he’s like, Well, thanks for the call, but I probably won’t be coming back to work; I’m probably going to die. That is literally what he said to me. This is mine, I don’t know if it was his second or third occurrence of cancer, but he said he was starting chemotherapy that day. And, like, literally, he was probably gonna die. And I just felt something. I’m sure it was the Holy Spirit. But inside of me, like, No, this does not have like, don’t set it over yourself. This is about what has to be your future. And so I asked him if I could pray with him right on the phone, and I began to pray with him. And I told him, I said, Do you know God? And I just explained Jesus and how he got on the cross and that he was a healer. And by that time, he was in tears; I led him to the Lord over the phone. And as he was even going through, we just stayed in touch. And he got through that chemo and came back to work and, and just kept staying in your room, the big guy upstairs. So he always said, you know, the big guy, you know, the big guy, but just the fact that he got through that. I can remember he would call me back when he could test it and give me his numbers, and they’re still low. And then I’d say a couple years later, he was diagnosed with an, I want to say that maybe leukemia was another type of cancer, maybe in his blood, and again, dismal prognosis. And I’m like, Gail, there’s this is no, no different like we still believe God for your healing. And this was a more intense treatment. He was she was traveling to Houston, which was like a half a day’s travel for her to go to a special treatment center. But I’m still praying for him. I’m still encouraging him throughout this whole time. He’s going through that. And I think he has to be on medication for the rest of his life. But I called him earlier. And I’m like, we’re going to be, I’m going to be telling our story. I said, When was that? I couldn’t remember. It was actually what it was in September 2014. So 10 years, almost 10 years, 10 years ago that this gentleman thought that he would have been added here

Paige C. Clark 25:23
in a few months or weeks. Yeah, yes. And who knows?

Tonya May Avent 25:27
I always say, who knows what would have happened if I had not shared my face if I had decided to be like, I always was and not share that. So we have a great relationship. We’ve, again, we’ve never met in person. So this September, I’m coming to see you. We’re gonna celebrate your 10 years. Yeah, no, that anniversary of our meeting, we’re going to celebrate that. But I’m just saying it’s a great friendship; we stay in touch. He just turned 70. He just turned 70 in February. And I just love it so good. If you’re watching, I love you, dude. I’m so glad that you’re still here with this and in our relationship. But that was also something that allowed me to be able to do this a couple of different times, and another team member different team now that I had; I remember him calling me again, I’m manager, I’m going to be out. My grandmother is not doing well; we’re just all going to say goodbye to her. So I’m like, again, that feeling inside of me. Can I pray down? Can I pray for your grandmother? We pray, and I can. He was literally on the phone crying on the other end after we prayed. And I want to say, like, four days later, she was released from the hospital. I’m like, and so just these tangible, and even when I’m praying, I’m praying, and I believe like I’m strong like, God, I know that you’re a healer. So please allow this to be the way that I can minister and share salvation with my co-workers by you showing your hand in their lives. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah, take

Paige C. Clark 26:55
a deep breath after that. Because, like, more credit to you, you kind of skipped over some, like, big significant parts that I just want to highlight because that was your first conversation with Gil.

Tonya May Avent 27:08
Yes. And like I said, my heart’s pounding was really easy. Get through your own fear. Like I had to work through the fear of what’s this man going to say? How was he going to respond? Could he report me? Verifications for that?

Paige C. Clark 27:26
So someone just going on leave to where that gets even touch here, in terms of, like, legal, HR, all that good stuff?

Tonya May Avent 27:34
Because, really, he’s not supposed to work. And really, you probably shouldn’t be talking to work anyway. Because you’re officially right. We’re talking disability. So there was so much in there, but I, yeah, I just felt like I could not at that moment pass. Yeah, it was critical for me to be able to speak life. Yeah.

Paige C. Clark 27:55
Gosh, that’s such a good story, Tanya, and I think, I think it’s also like a really big encouragement too because, like, in my mind, I go, one, I’m a woman, so I’m younger than them three, I’m a new manager for it’s my first day talking to this person, all everything. Five, also the industry that you work in, like it’s not like you work in, like the healthcare field, where that like, I don’t know, kind of an emotional connection might be more like surface level, is it where the dudes are like, kind of in a box, I would say is a way to describe some, some IT folks, they’re very kind of straight and narrow people. And you got a lot working against you. But I think that’s like such a powerful testament to God, like what he’s able to do,

Tonya May Avent 28:47
And what he’s able to do with us. And we would just step out on faith and move past that line of fear. Yeah, you know, to be able to, and for me, it was just a matter of, like, he’s telling me he’s going to die. And that was not acceptable to me. I know someone that’s a healer. And that power I wanted, I could not keep it to myself. Yeah. This is what I’ve been doing my whole career, kind of just keeping this amazing gift that I have in salvation through Jesus Christ. I was keeping it to myself, and there could have been conversations if you’re going out for, you know, meals or whatever. Afterward, there were probably still social periods where I could have shared my faith. And I just kind of kept that boundary. But for me, at that moment, I just was; I just wouldn’t accept that that would be his future. Like I can do something about it. I’m going to pray for you. I’m going to step in, and I know that I know someone who has the power to heal you, and I’m going to pray for you.

Paige C. Clark 29:45
Yeah. And do you feel like that? That was the pivot point for you in how you conduct yourself in the workplace.

Tonya May Avent 29:57
It made it easier, I wouldn’t say, a complete 180 Turn in that direction where again, so the next time an opportunity comes and I think I still, in those situations, I still get the butterflies, I still get off fluttery, like, are you going to do this and you’re going to do, or just the Holy Spirit really try to do this. But each time, it’s I think it gets easier. Being able, it’s usually again, if someone’s sick, if there’s something really dramatic or drastic and hopeless going on, I just, I definitely more freely share my faith. It’s interesting. Some people we chat a lot on Messenger and Teams and things like that. And there’s one friend that will put g dash D; she doesn’t spell that out. It’s g dash D or, you know, somebody still kind of funny about that. But no, I will say, God, I’ll say, Jesus Christ, you know, our, if we’re talking in a social setting of that, of that manner, I do I feel my boldness. It’s, it’s, it’s. I’m not preaching. I’m not one of though, you know, not sure, but I feel like when the situation lends itself, and someone is needing encouragement, they’re in a spot where they’re needing encouragement, I just offer it because if I probably was face to face with them, again, in the water, by the water cooler after out to lunch, things like that, right? You grow to have relationships with people; you just want to be able to share the good news that you have. Yeah, to help them in their lives.

Paige C. Clark 31:17
Yeah. And I think too, as you said, that kind of practice of doing it every time because I feel like what I’ve, what I might do in that situation is kind of discount the intensity and like, the, like, miraculousness of that situation, which is why I wanted to call out like, all those things that you had working against you.

Tonya May Avent 31:46
I didn’t think of all those, right? You’re right. I didn’t think of all those things that were really working and converging together at that moment. Yeah,

Paige C. Clark 31:56
yeah. And I think like, when, when we do it once, it’s like, okay, like, you know, it’s, at least for me, it’s easy to kind of, like, blow it off and be like, it wasn’t really that big of a deal. But then, like, the continued friendship that you have with Gil and the way that you’ve been able to minister to other people and see him through other obstacles. I think that is just, like, a really great indication of, of God’s kind of character and consistency of character as well.

Tonya May Avent 32:27
Absolutely. And I’m thinking about as you’re saying it as I’m thinking about different times that I’ve shared, their response always kind of confirms that it’s just you so much, thank you for being concerned about me as a person, not just as a worker on the job, but you’re really concerned about me. And so one of the reasons I would always say to God, why want to do ministry full time? But he showed me what I’m doing in ministry because how many of us have had bosses that we need and can’t stand? We make it miserable to go to work every day. And so I’ve always wanted in my position that my team is comfortable, they’re not anxious or have anxiety about coming to work, anxious or having anxiety about telling me the bad news; I just always want it to be that safe space where it’s someone can breathe a sigh of relief, at work of having a boss that is not one of those crazy bosses has been right work miserable. So I’m able to minister to the people that I work with in that manner just by being nice and kind and just showing God’s love in ways that I’m able to.

Paige C. Clark 33:31
Yeah, and the reason why I asked about kind of that pivot point is something that I’ve been kind of thinking a whole lot about recently, and we can talk after the fact, but my husband, he’s sick right now. And he’s battling a lot of stuff, and we were driving in the car literally just to go, like, pick up a croissant from my favorite bakery. Today, we were driving in the car, and I was just kind of thinking through all this, this, and one thing that sticks out to me when you’re kind of in the middle of what you would call like a storm or an obstacle or valley whatever you want to call it is that it’s not only for you. Like the valley is not just about you in this situation. Meaning like for, your situation, like Gil’s cancer, was not just about him because it gave you the opportunity to grow in your faith and give you the blessing to be able to pray through him through it beforehand.

Tonya May Avent 34:40
Yeah, and for people following him as well. Right, like, and even when you mentioned it, I get that feeling like, are you going to pray, Tonya, so we’re gonna pray before we leave today as well. It’s like those opportunities, like, yes, he’s shown it before. Yeah. And I’ve shown who I am before, so when you see someone in need, absolutely his word says I have to approach my throne of grace boldly, so that you can receive mercy and grace in your time of need, invites us to do that. So how many times do we know that we have a need or that someone that we’re meeting has a need? And we can approach the throne of grace on there? Yeah. Yeah. Just petitioning God for them.

Paige C. Clark 35:21
Yeah. And I think one thing too, especially in our culture, is, I think, why people are so receptive, but besides the fact that the Holy Spirit is moving in them at that moment. I think that, like, religion is seen as a super private kind of like, intimacy. Like, like, I have my thing with Jesus. And like, you know, it is private and intimate. Yeah. But what you’re doing by talking to other people is like, you’re inviting them into it. It’s like saying, like, Oh, this is my home, people think like, Okay, this is my house, and then you like, open the door and be like, Nope, you’re welcome to move in. If you want, it’s your home. Do you know, and you’re inviting them into that? I don’t like secrets. That secret is related, but I guess

Tonya May Avent 36:12
Like that, but I’m thinking as you’re talking, even, Well, if you knew a renowned podiatrist, okay. So you know, you’re very close. And he traveled across the world, you know, dressing squid issues, and you know, someone who was just diagnosed with a foot issue, would you tell them about your friend, right, that you know, can help them. And so the same thing, when we are men or what we’re going through, again, the valleys, the hurdles, the mountains, whatever term you want to use, when we’re going through those, we have someone who can help in those. So why would we not share and be able to give those in our lives hope? Give them love and care, and just all those things that our relationship with Jesus Christ brings things we have; we have something amazing to share. So why would we keep it to ourselves? Instead of sharing that

Paige C. Clark 37:00
with? Yeah, yeah, for sure. One thing I do want to hit on, too, is kind of your role as a manager, and like, like, how do you balance that? Because we’ve had a few people on this podcast that are in a managerial kind of position. But I want to talk like, it sounds like you’re like you’ve had teams as I had, I had a single direct report. But you’re out here leading teams, on teams on teams; what has that been like? It’s been

Tonya May Avent 37:31
Interesting. And it’s even interesting now that I don’t have a team now because they laid off all the US that don’t know about it; that happens frequently. Yeah. And so and all of these, these folks, I know, Gil, retired, but then some of the other folks that we had there were laid off, and having to even walk through that and say, I’m still praying for you. And if you need a referral, I’m still having to be there and minister to people that have lost their jobs. But I’ve had to manage our teams at one time; I had a full team of resources in India. And so I did learn about the Indian culture; I had to really be able to listen and be able to pick up their dialect and their language to make sure that I’m not always saying excuse me, or What are you saying? I wanted to make sure that I was learning about their holidays. So yeah, I’ve had mostly men, very few women that I have managed because, again, this is usually a very male-heavy industry. So I’ve had to deal with men who maybe don’t want to take instruction from the females Well, or maybe have grown up in a certain atmosphere where women are not held in higher regard as so so even all of those, but it’s still been knowing who I am, and being confident in who I am. And just really understanding that I’m in this position for a plate for a purpose. And really, again, my goal and being a manager was just wanting to impact the lives of the people that I am coming in contact with; a lot of times, people get nervous around their manager. I know, sometimes, you know, one on one, or you’re still kind of a little bit anxious. And I just, I don’t want to have that kind of relationship. Just I’m a human being just like you; I’m helping you succeed. But you can come to me with anything, and I don’t want you to feel anxiety; I want work to be a place that is enjoyable for you and not a place that causes stress.

Paige C. Clark 39:17
for you. Yeah, and I think that is an underestimated position, or, you know, the responsibility of a manager is to ease anxiety and worry, because like, I mean, kind of the higher up you go, you know, with a team, kind of the more experience that that team has, and how advanced positions are and all of that stuff. And so, like likelihood is that they have had previous jobs with previous managers who might not have been the best.

Tonya May Avent 39:50
I’ve had that experience myself, and I know how it feels right. I think that’s driving me. I know how it feels. I remember I had one who sat next to me and every day happened to come in. It was just a horrible thing to sit next to me, who would keep leaning over and looking at my screen. Yeah, it was just so uncomfortable every day having to be in that position. So I know what it was like to come into it. And that was before I was annoyed, obviously, but having to come into work and really having just a bad day almost every day just because of the fact that situation, the environment that you’re in. Yeah, I

Paige C. Clark 40:27
heard a story one time where this gal her manager had, like, put on, you know, a virtual like, video call with her for, like, two or three hours on her calendar. And the manager just goes, Oh, no, you just share your screen, and I’m gonna watch you work. Oh, I was like, Oh, my gosh, like

Tonya May Avent 40:56
How terrible is that? Like how there’s nothing to be beneficial that comes from that, even when you’re working if and if you’re those that are working remotely. Sometimes you get to share your screen to present something. And even I’ll get old and fidgety typing; I’m typing wrong. I know how to type, but I’ll be typing errors. Because people are watching, you’re not going to be your best. No, it’s like

Paige C. Clark 41:19
going to the auto shop and be like, here, my car makes this noise when it starts, and you turn it on, and then it doesn’t make the noise. You’re like, that’s right. Nothing happens. But yeah, I think, Well, I think just like good leadership, I think leadership really focuses on right now is there, you know, their servant leadership. And it’s more around how do you serve kind of the team? Like how do you make the team kind of work together in the best capacity? But I think there’s this other element that’s not talked about as much where it’s like, no, no, how do you serve the individual? How do you serve that direct report of yours?

Tonya May Avent 42:00
And empower them? How do you empower them? Yeah, it’s another; how do you empower them, Tanya? You give them the freedom to utilize the gifts and talents, and knowledge that they have and trust them and give the assignment to stress and not to micromanage. That was, I think, as I transitioned because I was so hands-on and not being a micromanager and allowing people to have that freedom again because you’re micromanaging, you’re making them nervous, you’re crouching over them, you’re questioning. So giving them that freedom, and then that builds my confidence in themselves and in their abilities, as well.

Paige C. Clark 42:34
And I think that that goes to even like you and me as creatives. I mean, a lot of people don’t realize this, but your brain is actually at its best when it’s at rest. That’s why like, when you like, lay down like, at night, your brain starts to go a million miles an hour off, like, all these like cool ideas and business ideas and things you want to do. And all this stuff is because you’re at rest. And so I think like, you know if your team is always having to be on, on on on, guess what, the production product that they turn out is not going to be as good. It’s not the best. It’s not optimal. Right? That’s a good way of saying that. Because we always get like in marketing, we go good, better, best. We good?

Tonya May Avent 43:27
Best, exactly.

Paige C. Clark 43:30
Awesome. And I want to hear about this book. And I want you to tell the audience about this book that you’ve, like, sprinkled here and there.

Tonya May Avent 43:38
Yeah. So this is my book that came out on my daughter’s 18th birthday. It’s called using God’s playbook for the game of life. That is the title. And the subtitle is 52 Scripture that young athletes should know before sending them off into the world. And again, it ties into children’s ministry. And again, being a mom and my daughter, both of my daughters are athletes. And so my oldest daughter, Kennedy, got hurt to the point that she could not compete at the same level. She was never able to return to track. And she was literally on the national level, just a talented athlete. Yeah. And so we went through a period of questioning God. She went through her own period at 14 years old, losing her identity and going through a period of depression and suicide, and it’s interesting some Olympians just passed away. Toria, we think her name. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. So we don’t think about a lot of the pressure that athletes face. But now, even young athletes who are still developing their brains are still developing. So it was just important for me that my daughter is going to leave in experience. And she may come back; she may not like you. Who knows what happens after college or your job and things like that. So As parents, we only have 1718 years to really build an In and speak and nurture into our children’s lives. And I felt like I needed to make sure that both of my daughters and then children, anyone who reads this, has a strong foundation in the Word of God. So I wrote this to make sure that I was just passing all of the biblical, not all but enough of the biblical knowledge that I had enough of their sections, who was God, who’s the Holy Spirit? Who is Sheezus? Who are you? Why were you created? Who’s your enemy? What does the Bible say? What are the promises? I just wanted her to capture that. So it’s 52 scriptures, one ScriptureScripture a week, and there are seven workouts. So each day, there’s a workout related to that ScriptureScripture; you have to repeat that ScriptureScripture as well when the goal is to know that ScriptureScripture in your heart, but you must also know how to apply it and what it means in your life. So by the end of the year, you would have 52 New scriptures in your heart, being able to use them. And as you’re going into adulthood, you have that foundation that you would just carry on carefully for the rest of your life. So yeah, that’s the book. Thank you. It’s just amazing. Um, it’s just been a blessing. And I, if you follow me on Instagram, and I’m gonna tiny my event there, each week I go through, I think we’re in week 16 now, but I just kind of go through each of those at a high level and talk about what each of those scriptures is a snippet of how to utilize them in your life. So I

Paige C. Clark 46:18
love it. It’s actually really funny. I’ve, like, even though it’s been a hot minute since we talked last, I thought of you the other week because of my cousin. She is an athletic director for the town where I grew up at. And she was like, coming to me, and she’s like, Paige, Kid doesn’t know sports anymore. Like having kids at like entry-level, you know, they have like little Pop Warner, like football and stuff like that. She’s like, they don’t know what a football is. And she goes, when you go into the bookstore, are there any books about sports, like for kids? Like, there are biographies of, like, sports stars and things like that. But no, she’s like, Do you know any? And I was like, I know what it was like; I know of one of them. But anyways, yeah, I was thinking that, and I want, I’m gonna give you, like them, the stage a little bit here because I want you to talk about this. Because I’m curious. On this podcast, we talk a lot about identity and the struggle of, like, being in the corporate world and having that pressure to climb the ladder. And then, especially like you just talked about, like having layoffs where it can be hard because people put their identity in what they do. That’s right. And you’re talking about your daughter, and you talk about it in your book of people having their identity in, what they do, and the sports that they play, and not being able to kind of fulfill that anymore. So here’s the floor. Tanya, what do you do with that?

Tonya May Avent 48:03
So and it’s interesting. That’s the section rollin’ literally, that’s what I do every morning on Yes, it’s, it’s who am I, and this week’s ScriptureScripture was, I will praise you for I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. And so to that, I say you were made specifically. Each of us was made specifically handcrafted by God. And that’s another scripture in the book that my mother is pulled out from fearfully and wonderfully made. And week 17, you saw me before I was born; every day of my life was recorded in your book, every moment laid out before a single day passed like your whole life already is laid out; God knows exactly what’s going to happen. We’ve spent a lot of time worrying about what tomorrow is going to hold on next. And I’m talking to myself, even now. Yeah, we do. But he knows. He already knows all of that.

Paige C. Clark 48:52
We kind of do you want to hear a crazy thing. But I read that psalm last night that you really read out loud to my husband and me before we went to bed, Psalm 139. Before we went to bed last night, that’s crazy.

Tonya May Avent 49:05
It is. But it’s true. And that’s where we start just finding out who we are. And there are no accidents, there are no mistakes. And that was one of the things I talked about. We look in the mirror, we may not like what we see, we wish we look a different way. But God created us. And when we don’t like what we see by rejecting His creation, we’re rejecting his specific design and plan that he planned for us. So again, that comes as having a relationship with Him. And it makes all the difference in who we are. And it’s not easy, but learning how to trust him. Regardless of what happens, regardless of the diagnosis, regardless of the job loss, regardless of whatever those negative things happen. You can know that you trust and serve a good guy who has seen every day of your life planted out, and he’s in complete control. And if you trust and if you can trust the nature of God and you can trust that nice good. You can trust that you can hold his hand as he will Extra through whatever they go through. Yeah. So yeah,

Paige C. Clark 50:04
I kind of want to end there. I loved that, and everything that you said there is completely true. And I think that, you know, we just need that to that to kind of sit on.

Tonya May Avent 50:15
A reminder, sometimes it’s a reminder.

Paige C. Clark 50:16
Yeah. And I will say that sometimes you just need to hear it. Maybe hear it a specific way, as you might know, it, but sometimes you just need to hear it to

Tonya May Avent 50:26
Remind us, Yeah, because there’s so much going on. And sometimes we do; we just need to be reminded about those things. And again, so from the book, it’s a matter of, it’s deep in our mind somewhere. And hopefully that seven days, it’s, it’s deep, I always think of the movie. It’s an inside-out Disney movie where long-term memory gets processed. So when you read the book, and you learn the scriptures, it’s in your mind somewhere. And it’ll come out when it needs to. Just make sure that you know it and have it in your heart, and it’ll come out when we need it. We’ll be

Paige C. Clark 50:56
out of it. For sure. That is amazing. Thank you so much. Tanya, I want to close out with one takeaway that our audience can do this week to help them grow their faith.

Tonya May Avent 51:06
I always, always, always plug for this; if you think of your phone, you do not go to sleep; most of us do not go to sleep any night without plugging in our phone to charge the battery. Right, we have to stay connected to that power source. Our phone needs power. We need power. And so when we wake up in the morning, I always say our power comes from that quiet time, devotional time with God. So one tangible thing is to commit; if you’ve got to work up, wake up maybe 1015 minutes earlier, or set that time in your morning schedule, in the quiet of the morning, to connect to your power source. And that’s it for me; I use the YouVersion Bible app on my phone. And they have a wonderful scripture of the day; someone comes and explains the ScriptureScripture. And it’s a nice devotional. And there’s prayer time when you can go to God with whatever is on your mind; it gives you a chance to meditate and just pray. So whatever you utilize, I would say daily in the morning, connects to your power source to give you the power to be able to run throughout that day and handle anything that you need to handle whether at work, home, whatever it is that you faced, connect to the power to get you through your day.

Paige C. Clark 52:11
I love that. Tanya, thank you so much. Where can people find you?

Tonya May Avent 52:15
Yes, Tanya May, Amen. All my social media, Facebook and Instagram, are my main ones. I’m on Twitter, but I don’t really tweet. But my website is

Paige C. Clark 52:26
awesome. And we’ll link all of this as well as your book, in the show notes down below. Any final thoughts? Tanya?

Tonya May Avent 52:34
Thank you, Paige, for having me. I appreciate you, and just to be an encourager, again, I think what I would ask anyone to leave with, you know, someone who can help those that are around you, he can help you and those that are around you. So I would say just right if you feel like you’re not able to freely share your faith if you have some fear or concern. The Bible says We’re not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is the power again; power is the power of salvation, the power that we need to live our lives, and the power that others need to be able to get through whatever they’re facing is found in Jesus Christ. And that’s it.

Paige C. Clark 53:10
Thank you so much, Tanya.

Tonya May Avent 53:12
Thank you, Paige. I appreciate you. Thanks for joining us.

Paige C. Clark 53:16
If you liked what you were listening to, make sure you subscribe and hit those five stars, and we’ll catch you on the next episode.